Buying a horse is easy. Just pay your money, load him up, and off you go. The purpose of this article is to help the “living happily ever after” part go, well, happily.

Rule # 1 Know Yourself.

Do a reality check. Why do you want to buy a horse? Are you a beginner rider ready to move to an intermediate level horse? Are you lonely and need a companion? Is this your child’s first horse? Do you crave the life of show ring Queen/King? The answer to this question, honestly, determines where you look, the purchase price range, and, especially, what NOT to buy. Rate your riding ability. Honestly. If you don’t know, pay for a lesson from a reputable instructor and solicit their advice on the level of horse that you’re ready for.

Rule #2 Find a mentor.

A mentor is not your best friend from the pub. Or a horse dealer. A mentor is an experienced horseperson who will represent your interests. Your mentor, or agent, needs to understand your needs and be willing to help you locate precisely the type of horse you want, not their own preferences. Consider paying that person a fee to help you locate the horse you need.

Rule #3 Write This Down.

All of us horse nuts have, at one time or another, gone off looking for a quiet horse and come home with a firebreathing green horse. I call it the “Fabio Syndrome”. This can be hard to explain to a confused spouse. And your health insurance can get really, really expensive. Write down what you are looking for. Be as specific, and as general, as you can. Does color matter to you? Why? What about height, age, breed, sex, level of training? Do you care about temperament, ability to do a specific type of work, show record, breeding ability, and bloodlines? Rate these factors in order of importance. If you know a dealbreaker factor in advance, you’ll save everyone a lot of time and effort . What is your price range? Show this list to your agent and have a frank discussion. Then edit the list.

Rule # 4 There Are No Free Rides.

Be prepared to pay a fair price. A horse that’s selling cheaply is probably priced right. At the time of this writing, the horse market is very depressed, and there are many bargains, especially in the young horse market. It’s always easy to find a cheap horse. The trick is in understanding if the price is a good value. Be cautious of too a low price. No, actually, just go ahead and be paranoid. What’s wrong with this horse?

Rule #5 There REALLY Are No Free Rides.

The purchase price of a horse is an expense that is small compared to the long term upkeep of a horse. Price the costs of keeping a horse in your area. Remember to include regular veterinary expenses, farrier, as well as the cost of upkeep and tack. Price mortality insurance if that’s relevant in your situation.

Rule #6 Yes, They Probably Are Lying.

Even the most honest, scrupulous, well-intentioned sellers have blind spots when it comes to selling Ol’ Paint. Who can clearly see the faults of those we love? Horse dealers and auctioneers sell horses like cars. They’ve got to move them to stay in business. They are working for the seller, not for the buyer. Remember that. Most commonly, sellers simply omit, or don’t volunteer information. Horses get younger, show records glow rosier. Listen to the sales presentation, and then listen to your agent. Use your own eyes, ears, and judgment. If the horse has crooked legs, don’t expect the seller to point that out to you. You have two eyes—use them. Ask direct questions about medical history, training history, behavioral and conformational problems. Find out who their veterinarian is, and ask for permission to request medical records. Get to your sales appointment early. Unless you’re a professional, never buy a horse on the first visit. Let the seller work and ride the horse first.

Rule # 7 Yes, you really do need a pre-purchase exam.

Hire an equine practitioner who is not the regular veterinarian for the vendor. Be clear with the veterinarian about your abilities, and the intended use of the horse. Horses’ bodies are like ours—there are few really perfect ones. It may not matter at all if your child’s horse has minor arthritis or crooked legs. Many wonderful horses have blemishes that don’t affect your goal. Go back to your list and keep your priorities straight. Pre-purchase exams can be simple, inexpensive, and fairly cursory. Or they may include full radiographs, screening for drugs, breeding soundness exams, and more. As a rough guide, the lower the purchase price, the lower the buyer expectations, the less need there is to have a full scale examination. Match the intensity of the pre-purchase exam to the price range and athletic demands expected of the horse.

Rule # 8 But He Loves Me!

“A lot of people spend time talking to animals but not that many people listen. That’s the real problem.” --Winnie the Pooh Horses are livestock animals. They are not Bambi, Black Beauty, Flicka, or the Black Stallion. Educate yourself about horses, and what motivates them. Horses are herd animals who are quite satisfied to be out grazing with other horses. They have no innate urge to win a blue ribbon, or even to wander through the woods with you on a beautiful Spring day. Horses are by nature peaceful prey animals who survive by flight and hiding in the herd. Horses are incredible, impressive animals, absolutely perfect without show rings, jump courses, or dressage schools. We impose ourselves on horses, and they manage to adapt extraordinarily well. The best horsemen understand the true nature, intellect, and needs of a horse, and respect them. Prepare to continue learning if you are going to own a horse and be serious about your responsibility.

Rule #9 Bubble Bursting.

“His papers are awesome!” Well, so what? Horse owners tend to clutch a horse’s registration papers like the Holy Grail. A registration is simply a documentation of the genetic base of the animal. By definition, that gene pool is limited to like individuals. Therefore, as time goes by and the same gene pool is mated within itself, more and more genetic flaws begin to evidence themselves that were not present in the original foundation stock. As you learn more about different breeds, you will find that each breed has genetic flaws. Your best guide is to avoid horses with relatives on the same papers. The more dissimilar the top and bottom lines, the better, in my view. The limited benefit of line breeding is for another article. Next, look for horses on the papers that do what you want your horse to do. Many breeds are very specialized. A fast racing bloodline may not be the best choice for a family trail mount. A World Champion Halter horse may be a rough ride. If you pay attention to the papers at all, match the abilities of the ancestors to the application you are looking for.

Rule # 10 You Do Have Options.

Some people prefer to lease their first horse. Leasing is a great way to find out if you or your child will stay interested, and allows you to end a commitment without the dilemma of reselling. Lesson programs are another great way to improve your horsemanship while delaying the purchase. A year of riding lessons can make a big difference in the type of horse you eventually choose. Adoption, or rescue leagues have their place. While this is generally not recommended for a novice, it can work out well if the novice has experienced hands around to guide their education. Know in advance that rescue horses typically come with their own problems, much like fostering a child who has had bad home experiences. Rescue horses are great choices for people with land, time, and some horse management experience.

Rule #11 Green + Green = Black and Blue.

Never match a novice horse with a novice rider. One, or both, will suffer as a result. The horse always comes out the loser on this deal. Be fair and save raising those beautiful young horses until you know more. If you’re a novice, get a quiet “schoolmaster” who can teach you what you need.

Rule # 12 This Is an Addiction.

Some people prefer the word “lifestyle”. If you find yourself spending more time with your horse, looking for trucks, thinking about buying land, know that this is just part of being owned by a horse. It’s a wonderful world. I hope you have a patient, loving, understanding spouse. And don’t quit your day job. You’ve got horses to support! And you’ll live, broke but happy, ever after.