So many people say to me they just need to improve their confidence and then they feel they will be okay. Confidence is not something you ‘get’, it needs to be developed. This means, therefore, that confidence doesn’t come first, it comes last. Let’s have a look at what confidence is and what a lack of confidence tells us. With confidence comes a sense of safety. We feel we are in control and we can predict the outcome. Lack of confidence comes when we feel vulnerable. We feel we are not in control and the outcome is unpredictable.